A guy is taking his girlfriend to prom. He waits in the ticket line for a really long time but gets them. He goes to rent a limo. The rental line is really long but he eventually does it. He goes to buy her flowers. The line at the florist is really long but eventually he gets the flowers. At prom, she asks him to go get punch. He goes to the refreshment table and there’s no punchline.
“Don’t date a girl just because everyone else in the room can’t take their eyes off her, or that black dress hugs her curves perfectly. Date a girl who you think about while waiting for the subway. Who makes you want your words to sound like some pretentious asshole who sits at Starbucks all day with a laptop wrote them. Date a girl who makes you think of stargazing in the summer and hot drinks in the winter. Don’t date a girl you can see the rest of your life with, date a girl who makes certain moments of your life unforgettable. Don’t date a girl who if after two weeks she “won’t give it up” to you. Don’t date a girl who if after 6 months won’t give it up. Date a girl who you will wait till the ends of the earth till she’s ready, a girl who you will gladly light the candles for. Date a girl who you will do anything to get that smile that melts your heart. Don’t date a girl who you’re dependent on. Date a girl who makes you more dependent on yourself to be better.”—(via laughing-lines)
when your girl come through not lookin happy arms crossed and she say “we need to talk” your palms get sweaty knees weak arms get heavy there’s vomit in the back of your throat already
you just there thinkin at supersonic speeds tryna figure out where you slipped so you can rebound like shaq in his prime was it the phone? some bitch talked too much? did she find the condoms?
then she say some shit that’s not related to what you thought it was and you damn near wanna jump on her like bitch don’t ever scare me like this again i damn near confessed but you gotta play it cool and calm down your breathin before she realize you almost hit the panic button
yo gettin married at 22 sounds a lot like leavin a party at 9:30 pm
yeah but you get to leave the party with your favorite person on the planet, and take off all of your makeup, and put on your ugly comfortable clothes and make popcorn and curl up in your bed and watch a movie, and have sex and go to sleep, idk how that sounds like a bad thing.
And everyone else just wakes up alone and hungover.
always thought it was weird that the joker’s henchmen called batman a “bat freak” like yall are grown ass men dressed as clowns following some sadistic ass master clown who’s real identity is unknown. they have no room to judge
"hey sorry it’s been so long since my last video. anyway here is my protective blowout! i just cowashed and then set it with argan oil, jojoba oil, olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, canola oil, kukua oil, ‘i can’t believe it’s not butter’ and a spritz of deionized holy water. i also used defnatural’s™ curl defining strand protecting keratin heat creme which you can purchase for three easy payments of $176.54! the link is in my sidebar ;).”
"okay, time for the best part of the video…
as many of you know, i have been natural for seven days and i am very pleased with the results of my hair journey!!!